To My Unborn child

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.
So one day it asked God: "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"
God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
Child: "But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy."
God: "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy."
Child: "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?"
God: "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."
Child: "And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"
God: "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
Child: "I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"
God: "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."
Child: "But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."
God: "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly: "Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."
God: "Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel Mommy."

Something I created for my unborn child

July 2nd, 2006
I have a suspicion. However, this suspicion is so far fetched, it just can't be true. I probably unconsciously wish for a child so bad that I think I'm with child. After all, Mandy is pregnant, Jenny is pregnant... so even though I say I do not want to get pregnant right now, I still wish I would've gotten pregnant by now. It's been almost two years since my reversal and even though we haven't really "tried" to get pregnant like other couples have, we have timed and hoped. I'm due to start my period today... so the tiredness and the weird feeling is probably just in my head.. it's PMS. I also have cramps, so I probably will start any time now."
July 3rd, 2006
I did a pregnancy test and I think it's negative. I want to think there is a line, but I only saw a shadow, so I probably just looked a litte too closey, wishing just a little too much. However, I am now one day past due.. the longest I've ever waited for my period to show. It's probably just stress. I did measure my blood pressure and it's low.. a sign of pregnancy for me in the past. Jenny thinks I'm putting too much into it. She's probably right, but then again, there are the signs. I felt nauseated when I ate the chocolate sandwich today... I don't normally feel that way after eating it, but I couldn't eat chocolate or sweet stuff much while being pregnant with David. Weird!
July 4th, 2006
I did another test. I saw a line.. a faint one. Maybe I'm still imagining things? I woke Donny up to come and look and he said there is a line. I'm pregnant. Or am I? Well, I'm going to get a more expensive test from Walgreens.
Here it is:

The test came back positive. Definitely. I'm pregnant! I'm with Child! I can't believe it! My wish came true. After almost 2 years of waiting, I'm finally given the opportunity to have another baby. I wasn't so sure if I would ever have that opportunity, regardless of the fact that I had my tubal reversal and even though my test showed that my tubes were open. I was thinking I might be too old. But no, we are expecting. I have a child growing inside of me. A baby! MY baby!

Gift from Stardust

Just a DividerJust a DividerJust a Divider

Just a DividerJust a DividerJust a Divider

July 8th, 2006
Things are generally going very well. I still do not have any kind of morning sickness and my blood pressure is wonderful. I have not really gained anything, but not lost either, like I had planned to. I'm down to one Mountain Dew a day and am planning to start on 1/2 on Monday. I have been somewhat miserable with my allergies and not being able to take what I need to clear it up. I'm still using my spray here and there since the pharmacist said it was all right to. However, I'm not comfortable about it because it's a catagory C on this site: Safe Fetus I'm also very tired, but I guess that is to be expected. What I didn't figure would happen is that I had a severe Fibro flare these last few days. I used some muscle rub instead of medication though and I didn't use anything at all today. I think I'm getting better again. My first doctors appointment is going to be on August 8th. My Doctor is Dr. Peck, one of the 10 best OB doctors in the Nation.
July 20th, 2006
Still no morning sickness. YEAH! You gave us a scare though. I was spotting just a little bit yesterday, but it was only once and hasn't repeated and it was pink, not red, so I think we're ok. I'm still worried about possible miscarriage, but I think you're a survivor!
August 9th, 2006
Well, I was supposed to have my first appointment for you yesterday and was called that Dr. Peck was ill. Now I have to wait another two weeks to have my appointment. However, the good news is that by then we'll be 11 weeks long and I will be able to hear your little heart beat. I was also told that I don't have to be afraid that you're in the wrong spot anymore, cause I would have symptoms by now. You're 3 cm now. You're our little baby bear! (See picture below).

The story is this. The white bear is me, the blue bear is your Daddy and when your Daddy found out that you're growing inside of me, he put the little brown bear in my arms. He also said that there are 5 Carebears on top of my headboard resembling the 5 children we already have. Now isn't your Daddy wonderful?!!!
August 28th, 2006
I had my first doctors appointment last week and he said everything was ok. You are growing normal and next time I will be able to hear your heartbeat. So far I have gained 2 lbs in the beginning of pregnancy and nothing since. I've been eating like there's no tomorrow Makes me think I just never ate enough to get my metabolism going. I'm always hungry and am always eating. If I don't eat I get nauseated. I used to forget to eat and be fine for most of the day, but not anymore. I guess that's a good thing, since I'm not gaining any weight at all. I'm craving dairy, especially milk. I can feel the bubble inside me that you're living in when I lay on my tummy, so I can't sleep like that anymore. I will see you in about 5 weeks, my little babybear. Dr. Peck said I should have an Ultrasound somewhere between week 16 and 18. I'm so looking forward to seeing you! I love you already and you're not even the size of my hand!
September 5th, 2006
Well, another two weeks now and I will hear your heart beat. My tummy just got bigger again, but I actually lost 1/2 lbs. I'm less and less fearful of a miscarriage now. I'm 13 weeks pregnant. You're the size of my fist. You're getting big and you look like a regular human now. I can't wait to see you. This is going to be so special. I still feel wonderful and my health is excellent. I still crave dairy too.. everything has so much more taste now. There's things though I can't eat anymore, like spam. I used to like spam, but I think it's too fatty and you barked at it. You didn't like the Homestyle dinner either. We're thinking it might be all the MSG in it. Today I was looking for an attitude T. I found a couple of them I really like. In another 10 weeks I will start shopping for my little babybear!!
October 7th, 2006
Just 3 more days and I will be able to see you. It was great to hear your heart beat. I still get scared for you at times, but it's getting better and I'm sure once I've seen you it'll be even better. Just 5 more weeks and your life has a chance to be saved if you came early. I actually know a couple whose child was born in their 27th week. Amazing what technology can do nowadays. I can't wait till I can really feel you inside of me. I can feel you every once in a while for the past few weeks now, but only if you kick really hard, or you dance on my I now have the Amby hammock for you

and I got the bedroom all ready for you. Dawn, Lisa and Diana are going to throw a baby shower for us sometime in January. I can't believe I'm almost half way through!!
November 7th, 2006
I'm so glad I was able to see you today. You were moving and you are a boy!!! I'm also glad I can feel you pretty much daily now. I feel blessed and Highly Favored!!
February 7th, 2007
My goodness I can't believe it's only 33 more days till my due date. I still have so much left to do, but since I've held Mandy's and Jenny's baby, I can't wait to have you in my arms. I'm also a little scared after seeing Jenny's baby being born that you're going to be huge and labor will be rough, but I have faith that you will be an average size baby and I can manage without any meds to give birth to you. I have a good support system. Your Daddy, sister and sister-in-law will be my labor coaches. Your room is pretty much done. The baby-shower isn't going to be until the 20th and I can't wait to see what all you will get. There are a lot of people who will be thinking of you. I'm hoping to finish cleaning the house by the shower date so I can concentrate on finishing the schooling I need to do yet and possibly do some work on the scarp books yet. I know I won't get to that very fast once you're born. I'm so excited Benji! You are in the position you're going to be in when you're born and you're facing backwards, so I'm sure I will have back-labor again. This time though I know what to do to make the pain a little easier to endure. I love you so much and it makes me so happy every time I can feel you move inside of me. It feels weird now that you're in position, cause you kick towards the inside of me more than towards the outside, but I can feel your little back and butt on the outside of my belly pushing and I think I can feel your shoulderblades at times. Again I have to say I can't wait to actually hold you in my arms!!!
February 19th, 2007
21 more days! I'm pretty much done with everything I need to do. I have the shower left tomorrow and then I have to buy the things I didn't get for you. I also want to do some more scrap-booking, but that doesn't have to be done before you're born. I'm feeling good now... I had some fake labor that hurt pretty good, but that's only when I do a lot of things... right now I feel great! I'm so looking forward to hold you in my arms!!!!
March 23rd, 2007
An Angel has been born!


I was trying hard to give birth naturally, but my cervix was stuck at 5 cm and it took long enough to make them nervous, so they gave me Patosin which in turn made Benji's heartbeat go down and I needed a cecerean to give brith. He was in intensive care for 4 hours before I finally held the precious little Angel in my arms!!!

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