The Fear Of The Dragon

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Abuse

by Roadangel 12-2001

There's weeping Angels in heaven tonight
Angels as soldiers prepared for a fight
Tears of the angels are filling the air
Angels protecting you everywhere

So real is the dragon so mighty so cruel
A bundle of hate, a stupid old fool
So helpless, so wounded, so little, is you
wondering what the dragon will do

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Children Learn What They Live


by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy
If children live with  shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children learn with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

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When the Children Cry

by White Lion

Little child dry your crying eyes
How can I explain the fear you feel inside
Cause you were born into this evil world
Where man is killing man and no one knows just why
What have we become just look what we have done
All that we destroyed you must build again

When the children cry
Let them know we tried
Cause when the children sing
Then the new world begins

Little child you must show the way
To a better day for all the young
Cause you were born for all the world to see
That we all can live with love and peace
No more presidents and all the wars will end
One united world under God

When the children cry
Let them know we tried
Cause when the children sing
Then the new world begins

What have we become just look what we have done
All that we destroyed you must build again
No more presidents and all the wars will end
One united world under God

When the children cry
Let them know we tried
When the children fight
Let them know it ain't right
When the children pray
Let them know the way
Cause when the children sing
The new world begins

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Blue Flowers


I bumped into a stranger as he passed by
"Oh,... excuse me, please" was my reply
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't even watching for you."

Oh, we were polite - this stranger and I
We went on our way and we said our good-bye
But at home a different story is told
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal
My daughter stood beside me very still
I turned around, I nearly knocked her down
"Move out of the way!" I said with a frown
She walked away, her little heart broken
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken

Later that night wide awake in my bed
God's still small voice came to me and said
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use
But the children you love, you seem to abuse!

Look upon the kitchen floor
You'll find some flowers there by the door
Those are the flowers she brought for you
She picked them herself - pink, yellow and blue

She stood quietly not to spoil your surprise
And you never saw the tears in her eyes"

By this time I felt very small
And now my tears began to fall
I quietly went and knelt by her bed
"Wake up, sweetheart," I whispered and said

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
She smiled, "I found'em out by the tree
I picked'em because they're pretty like you
I knew that you'd like them - especially the blue"

I said "Daughter, I'm sorry how I acted to you today
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

She hugged me and said "Mommy, that's okay
You know I love you anyway"
I said, "Daughter, I Love you too!
And I do like the flowers - especially the blue!"

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Misty

Author Unknown

My name is Misty
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says it's my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor

My name is Misty
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me.

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Links to Abuse Sites:


Child Abuse
Child Sexual Abuse
Safe Child

Identifying Abuse


The most widely known and understood type of abuse is physical. But there are many types equally as devastating as physical battery.

If you've been physically assaulted by an intimate partner, you're almost certain to have been subjected to emotional abuse as well. Emotional abuse, however, is more difficult to both define and recognize. While a black eye, cuts, and bruises are obvious signs of physical abuse, the scars of emotional abuse often go unseen.

There are, however, some indicators or gages which can be used as stepping stones to awareness.

  • They are:
  • The partner has learned to overlook unkindness and disrespect.
  • Upsetting incidents are denied by the abuser, and the partner thinks she's wrong.
  • The partner thinks her feelings are wrong.
  • The partner intermittently forgets her upset feelings when the abuser is intermittently friendly. (see cycle of violence)
  • The abuse can be very subtle - the control increasing gradually over time so that the partner gradually adapts to it.
  • The abuser controls the interpersonal communication by refusing to discuss upsetting interactions.
  • The abuser and partner may function very well together in their respective roles; making a home, raising a family, and "getting ahead," so the abusive nature of the relationship is overlooked.
  • At times the abuser is not abusive. Consequently, the partner forgets the "bad times."
  • The abuser's behavior is alternately abusive and non-abusive, so that the partner is never sure whether or not the relationship is working.
  • The partner may have never seen a model of a healthy relationship and good communication; therefore he/she has no basis for comparison.
  • The partner's reality has never been validated. Others don't see the abuse, so it doesn't seem real to her.
  • The partner may believe that if her mate provides for her, he really loves her.
  • The partner believes that when her mate is angry, she has somehow hurt him/her.
  • The partner may believe that the behaviors of the abuser are "gender" related.
  • The partner believes her perceptions are wrong.
  • The partner may be so absorbed in raising a family or developing a career that he/she ignores problems in the relationship.
  • The partner may believe that only physical battering is abuse and does not perceive his/her conditions as abusive.
  • The partner does not realize that an abusive personality - one that seeks power and control over another - is not capable of the empathetic comprehension that love and a healthy relationship require.
  • If you are aware that the possibility exists that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship, you may begin to recognize the abuse by becoming aware of abusive patterns.
  • In order to discover these patterns, it is helpful to become very aware of your own experiences and feelings. You may need to keep a journal in order to keep your thoughts clear, to analyze your own experiences, and to record your feelings.

  1. Some of the questions you might ask yourself are these:
  2. How often do you feel upset by what is said or not said to you?
  3. Do you feel isolated and alone?
  4. Are your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings routinely disregarded or ridiculed?
  5. Do you often feel confused, surprised, hurt, frustrated, diminished, or threatened?
  6. Is there an absence of laughter and sentiment in your relationship?
  7. Does your relationship experience a great many extreme "highs" and "lows?"
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Basic Rights in a Relationships

If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evna (1992) suggests the following as basic rights in a relationship for you and your partner:

  • The right to good will from the other.
  • The right to emotional support.
  • The right to be heard by the other ad to be responded to with courtesy.
  • The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view.
  • The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
  • The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive.
  • The right to clear and informative answer to questions that concern what is legitimately your business.
  • The right to live free from accusation and blame.
  • The right to live free from criticism land judgment.
  • The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect
  • The right to encouragement.
  • The right to live free form emotional and physical threat.
  • The right to live free from angry outburst and rage.
  • The right to be called by no name that devalues you.
  • The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered.
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