July 12th 2015
I didn't even realize that I didn't write at all in 2014. WOW! So much has changed. Emily is pretty much out of our life. She never calls and never comes visit. We have no clue where she is or what she does. When she made the paper for her school performance, she named Linda as her mother. I can somewhat understand that she rejects me.. but her Dad? Anyway.. that's what's up with Emily. Jessica enlisted fraudulently in the Marine Core and then got booted after 10 days cause she was depressed and she told them that she's had problems like that all of her life. She moved back in with us for a month.. I pushed her to move in with David once she got a job at Walmart. She didn't even work at Walmart for 2 weeks and was at David's for less than a week when she got herself a boyfriend, quit Walmart without notice for Burger King and moved out of David's house and into her boyfriends house. So that's Jessica. And Tydon.. wow... Tydon got into big trouble in the last year. He got into drugs and stealing, got really bad in school, ended up steeling one of our guns, kept running away, was put on a ankle bracelette that he cut off, went on a stealing spree in cars and then ran away from juvy and had another stealing spree in garages and stole a car. He went to secure, got into state custody, went to Northwest Passages for a 3o day evaluation and is now in what is called Core Academy. He acts like he's sorry and like he wants to come home, but then he gets these times when his old self shines through and I know if he comes home it's just a matter of time before he won't listen and does bad stuff again. I hope they can help him and us to get him on the straight and narrow. He has another court date with Judge Gonzales on Tuesday. Sometimes I wish Linda would just keel over dead!!! She's part of the problem. She took Emily and Tydon to see Theresa and I'm sure they both told the kids all kinds of bullshit. That's probably why Emily doesn't want anything to do with us anymore. Anyway.... on it goes. In February I closed my daycare cause I was tired of parents and tired of kids too. I started working at Walmart as a fitting room Associate April 9th and I'm absolutely loving it!!! I can't believe how little stress I have in my life right now. It feels good not to have the burden of Bipolar hanging over my shoulder every day... and it's good not to have stupid lurking in the corners diguised in parents of misbehaving children destroying my house.
Donny and I are doing really good. Benji is a complete geek. He's really smart and basically pretty normal. He has a hard time doing chores and he doesn't like to listen when you say something unless you count, but that's pretty normal 8 year old behavior. He doesn't get in trouble in school and gets pretty good grades. He doesn't like math a whole lot, but I am trying to start turning that around this summer. Hopefully I will succeed. He is big time into computer and is learning how computers work and Donny is starting to teach him how to put them together. He's not so much into music anymore, but he's in the nutcracker again (he was in that last year too). He loves to swim too and finally can swim. He still has a hard time with his muscle strength (hypotonia), but he's come a long way. He also still goes to horseback riding.
I have decided to have weight loss surgery. I was at an all time high of 284 pounds. I'm now down to 274 lbs. I have done all my preliminarys and am now waiting for the insurance to allow it. I'm hoping to have it done by September this year. I'm so tired of being a hurting unit. I worked hard to try to lose it on my own, but I took very little off in 6 months of working out and I need the help gastric bypass can give me. According to what they say, I should have an extreme benefit with my arthritis and see a decrease in pain soon after surgery. I also should have more energy again and no more pre-diabetis. I am looking forward to being able to do things I can't do right now (or am not able to do very easily) like cutting my toenails.
I'm pretty happy with my life. We don't have a lot of money, but we have most everything we need and/or want too. I want to go visit my Mom next year. She's getting old and I don't think she'll be around too much longer. I'm in the process of getting Donny and Benji's passport renewed.
David and Mandy are doing really good. David makes me so proud. He has a job in the computer field at Ashley Furniture and he makes around 80,000 a year. Mandy now works for a bank and the kids are doing great too. Jason is a honor student in school. Jenny is also doing really good. She's done with her Bachlors, but not working in her field yet. She wants to eventually when her and Chad move closer to Black River Falls. She makes good money though and she seems to like what she's doing. She found a pretty decent guy that also makes pretty decent money and they had another kid together. Owen is a year old now and is growing up so fast. Tommy is doing good too. I'm so glad I have Jenny and David, cause I'd go crazy wondering what I did wrong with the other 3 if I didn't. Jessica isn't too bad, but still not the kid I was dreaming about when I grew up. She just doesn't seem to have the ambition I was hoping for.

September 10th, 2015
Well, Jessica is now back at Mc Donald's and that's ok. Tydon ran off in Phase 3 from Core and was gone for 3 weeks and is now back in Core. The people involved in his care said that he is the hardest case in regards to his diagnosis than they have ever seeen in the time they have worked with kids. He has been diagnosed with Bipolar, Schizophrenia, ADHD, ODD and Addictive Behavior. I don't think he'll be coming home to our house any time soon. Matter of fact I'm thinking he'll probably age out in the system. Emily worries me. She seems to really hate me and is trying to make Jessica not like me either by telling her she has Stockholm Syndrome. After all the stuff Emily has done in the past (like trying to poison the dogs) and her thinking that I'm in the way of her having a relationship with her Dad, and also the story she wrote while she still lived here about kiling me and Benji, I'm sometimes worried she will do just that.
On a better note, Managers at Walmart want me to become a Department Manager, so I'm trying to pass the test Friday. I would still be in Apparall and hopefully even in the women's. Benji actually likes Math this year and that makes this Mama happy. I was approved for my weight loss surgery, after 2 denials and I should be getting my date by tomorrow. Looks like it will still be in October. My life is good!