March 4th 2003
My Dad died today. Last night I couldn't sleep. I saw a vision of him sitting on the couch twice. Both times as I walked down the stairs. The 2nd time I called my Mom and I talked to my Dad. He wasn't very responsive. I pretty much told him goodbye. I know he was ready to go.

April 17th, 2003
Emily told me she has bloody dreams. She said in one dream deer are eating people and it's all bloody. Another one she sees herself being born and she lays in bed all bloody. In one dream she says a Unicorn and a rabbit were killed.

May 27th, 2003
Today is Mom and Dad's Anniversary. the first one for Mom without Dad. This has got to be hard on her. Yesterday was David and Mandy's 2nd Anniversary and since the 17th I'm a married woman. I love Donny sooo much I can't imagine life without him. He's a wonderful man - my husband. Gary gave me away - I wish Dad could've done it. It was a real beautiful wedding. I'm Monika Scott! I married my twin-soul. I found out that I was right with Genevera. It really was a name back in the 17 and 18 hundreds. I think Lorence was Lorenz though.

August 28th, 2003
Emily is starting oppositional behavior, crying, screaming and pouting. She wanted ice-cream but not finish her soup. When we told her she had to finish it first she cried. We told her she needed to stop or she would have to go to bed. After a couple of warnings she stopped and ate her soup. We left the kitchen and she started screaming at Jessica for burping. Then she continued screaming until I made her go to bed (physically took her off of her chair). She cried harder and screamed again once upstairs. How to do you teach a child to open up when she's depressed?

October 11th, 2003
Emmy is doing a lot of things for the past 2 or 3 days that she knows are against the rules. I told her to think about what's going on in her heart and when I asked her if she could tell me when she feels sad or in need of a hug she said yes.

November 5th, 2003
Emily was crying and couldn't tell us a reason. She said she didn't know why she was crying but she wasn't able to stop.

November 7th, 2003
Emily was crying again. Also in the afternoon and just like the last time she said she didn't know why. She said she just felt really sad and had to cry but there was no reason. We seem to have figured out that Emily is worse with the crying for no reason when she gets woke up from a nap.

November 21st 2003
things are going wonderfully between Donny and I. I have always dreamed of a love like ours. Jessica has been having problems in school. She's on Adderall for ADHD, but now her moodswings are getting worse. Emily is lying to her teacher. I hope if both girls are BP at least Tydon won't be.

December 19th 2003
Today is my last gig as Razmataz Karaoke. Donny took time off to come along. I got him an executive chair for Christmas and I'm getting him a model too. I love my man. He's the most wonderful person I've ever met. I hope the Lord will bless us with a baby.