January 15, 1985
David is trying to sit up from a lying position.

January 20, 1985
David is standing up for 1 minute without help.

January 28, 1985
Today David rolled from his back to his front for the first time. We got to Kentucky yesterday. David is now officially American and German.

February 4, 1985
Today David played by himself the very first time. I put a toy in front of him and he kept hitting it with his hand to get the toy make sounds. He also made his first steps while I was holding him.

March 1, 1985
David is 68 cm tall and his head is 44 cm round

March 9, 1985
David, now I have you for the past 5 months and I love you just so very very much. You're a very very nice boy and I hope you will entrust me everything when you get older. I hope you will never be addicted to cigarettes (or anything else for that matter). But you can talk to me in any situation.

March 11, 1985
David weighs 15.5 lbs.

March 29, 1985
David is 70 cm tall and weighs 15.5 lbs and his first tooth came through..

April 4, 1985
Today David ate all by himself for the first time. His girlfriends name is Stephanie and she is a month older than he is.

April 8, 1985
Today the second tooth came through. He keeps trying to scoot. He fell off of the bed and ended up with a bloody lip, cause of his tooth, but it's not really bad.

April 9, 1985
I haven't written in a long time. I have so much to tell. In the meantime I have realized that I might never give birth to a baby girl. If my next child is going to be a boy, I will adopt a little girl. I quit smoking for 9 month. I started again in January. Your Dad and I want to quit together as of tomorrow. David was born on October 6th. I had no problems with the birth and wasn't hurting that much either. David already has his bottom two teeth and he can already sit up. He is a really nice boy. We moved to the USA in December. We spend the first month in West Virginia, where I really liked it. We've been here in Kentucky since the end of January. I'm not homesick at all. I found a few new friends here too. Kathy (she has a 7 month old daughter), Joy (she has a 14 month old son) and Joann (a 2 month old and a 2 year old son). We will be going back to Germany around November. Your Daddy doesn't like it here in Kentucky. I like the apartment here. I get along with your Dad better than ever. Your grandma visited us in Germany back in August 1984. She is a wonderful person. Your grandpa is a great person as well. I love them both. Now I have to go, cause David has to go to bed.

April 12, 1985
David says "Mama"

April 14, 1985
David says "Dada"

April 25, 1985
David can pull himself up on furniture and he can sit up

May 9, 1985
David can now sit up from a lying position and pull himself up on furniture. He walks on the side of the furniture too. He falls a lot and then cries a little bit and then tries again. He's walking just by holding one of his hands now. He's a real nice boy, but he's also used to me and doesn't want anyone else to watch him. I have to be there all of the time.

May 19, 1985
His third tooth came through

May 27, 1985
Your Dad had to go to PLDC, which is some kind of training for the military. He won't be able to come home much and I already miss him a lot and hope he's allowed to come home for a few hours tomorrow. And I want him to call today, cause I miss his voice. I wish the 30 days were already over with. I love your Daddy so very very much and miss his coming home so much and his tenderness..and everything else about him of course. Doug is a very good husband and I don't like to miss him just for one day. I wish when I wake up tomorrow, the 30 days would be over.

June 4, 1985

David weighs 20 lbs

June 8, 1985
David has two more teeth and another one coming.

June 28, 1985
The 3rd tooth came through yesterday.

July 4, 1985
Today David walked 4 steps without holding anyone’s hand

July 18, 1985
David walked 5 steps without holding on to anything today.

July 19, 1985
Your Daddy has been in the field for the past 3 days and he's staying out another 7 days and I already miss him so very much. I wish he was here right now and could take me in his arms and I could tell him how much I love him. The Korean girl, Lee, that lives next to us is a dumb cow. She keeps trying to make fun of me. Today I overheard her trying to make fun of my big breasts. My bust is bigger now because I nurse, so it's bigger than normal, but she can kiss my butt. She'll find out, cause she's pregnant too. I love you child!

July 29, 1985
David now says "hi" and waves back when someone waves at him.

August 1985
I went to the hospital and had a pregnancy test done, cause I feel pregnant. I'm so tired and weak and my tummy is pulling. The test was positive and the IUD has to be removed. I was scared at first, but I'm really happy about it now. It's about a year too early, but maybe that'll make David less jealous.

August 28, 1985
I'm pregnant again and I'm happy about it. There's another side to the story though and it scares me, cause I have an IUD and I'm scared that will hurt the baby. Oh well, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.

August 29, 1985
They took the IUD out and the doctor said it's better like that. I'm glad. I'm supposed to go to an Ultrasound on September 5th. Then I can see my sweet little baby. I already love it so much.

September 19, 1985
I've been sick all morning. I don't think it's related to the pregnancy. I already threw up 7 times and been to the bathroom twice. I feel so shitty. If this is because of the pregnancy then it has to be a girl.

October 3, 1985
My little Oma died today. I cried a lot. David can say Daddy really good now.

October 6, 1985
A couple of days ago my best grandma died. I was really shocked when I got my Mom's call. Little grandma... oh well, I guess it was for the better, cause she couldn't even leave the house anymore. I will get a lot of things from her when I go to Germany and I will keep as much as I can. I just smoked two cigarettes today. David turned 12 month old today. I got to see the new baby via Ultrasound yesterday. It's still real little. I couldn't see very much.

October 19, 1985
We're in West Virginia for the next 30 days, because we're going back to Germany and your Daddy took his vacation. we’ve been here for 10 days now and I already feel sick of this place. I don't know... I like the country and I like the house, but I don't like the way your Daddy acts over here. I guess he is trying to show off in front of everybody. To me it looks like he just don't care about me anymore. Usually I feel so secure in your Daddy's arms, but the way he hugged me here, I feel like I'm his little sister, but not his wife. I can't remember when he gave me the last French kiss, I just know it's been a long time, too since I felt real good when we made love. He just don't play with me that much no more as he used to and then he wonders why I'm not nice to him. Today, the first night that he didn't go with his father, he couldn't spent time with me, he had to spend it with his brother. I don't really care for Renee or David Allan neither one. I love Mom and Dad though. His Mom is better than mine. The reason I write this in English is cause I wish your Daddy would find it and read it, maybe he would think about it and would quit telling me my butt looks like my face. I know he said it for fun, but it hurt a lot. The only thing here that he can do is hurt my feelings anyway. It seems like he does it on purpose. I love your daddy more than I could anyone else, but I hate him being like this to me, when we're in West Virginia. I really don't cry as much no more as I did, but Doug made me already cry twice since I've been here and Mom once. I can't stand this place any longer. I wish we could leave right now.

October 20, 1985
My baby is dead! For the past four weeks! It already was dead when they checked me in Kentucky and told me everything was all right! Army Doctors SUCK!! All of them !!!

October 21, 1985
I had my D&C today. I am still very sad, but I don't have to cry anymore. I feel like crying once in a while, but I can press my tears back.

October, 1985
I had to have a D&C, cause I had started bleeding and when I got to the hospital, they found out that the baby was already dead for 4 weeks. I'm really sad and I cry a lot.

October 29, 1985
It's getting better here. I found a few things to do , like going squirrel hunting or help your Daddy cutting wood and I am more with Daddy now too. Daddy went coon-hunting today, but it don't hurt me today, because he spent a lot of time with me the last few days. Since I had the D&C I feel more secure again in your Daddies arms. Today he told me that David Allan was jealous of him because of me and this made me happy. I guess he does still love me and I love him. I hope he'll be like this now for the last 17 days that we're here too. I love your Daddy so very much.

November 3, 1985
David wants to do everything by himself now. He can drink out of a cup all by himself and he doesn't nurse anymore until the afternoon about 3:00 pm.

November 5, 1985
I wish I would know why your Daddy doesn't trust me. I never stole any money from him, nor did I take the car when he didn't want me to. It hurts. This isn't a good marriage if we don't trust each other. I trust him, why can't he trust me? I hate when he says "It's my money"!!

December 10, 1985
I've been back in Germany for the past 22 days now. David can talk pretty good by now. He says "Mama, Mami, Daddy, Hello, light, Licht, that, thanks, Danke and a few other things that are not quite as clear, like bye bye. When I ask him "Where is Daddy?" He is looking for him and then he smiles when he found him. If he wants a cracker, he opens up the fridge, when he wants something to drink, he points at the bottle, when he wants something to drink, he makes noises with his lips. He also makes noises while riding in the car. He hits his head A LOT!! He was really good on the flight over here and he loves his Oma and Opa. He weighs 23.5 lbs now. He already has 12 teeth.

December 16, 1985
David stopped nursing two days ago. He slept in his own bed for the first time since he was born.

December 26, 1985
We had a terrific Christmas this year. David already has 13 teeth now. Doug, David and I went to my parents' house for Christmas. they gave David a train and a rocking-cow. Gerhard and Manuela gave him a bus. Grandma Wilburn gave him a small truck and his grandma gave him a nice outfit. Grandpa gave him an electric car and from Doug and me he got a piggy bank, a long train, a telephone, a tricycle and a savings account. My aunt Hella gave him a rabbit.